Sunday 31 March 2013

One Month Or So To Go

I'm not sure how midwifery visitations and appointments work elsewhere in Canada, however here in BC most appointments occur at the midwifery clinic. However, during your pregnancy if you are planning a home birth then during week thirty-six you will receive a home visit. I recently found out from my brother and sister-in-law that this is different in Alberta where every appointment with a midwife occurs at home; however, whereas midwifery care is completely funded through our provincial health care, this is not the case in Alberta. Midwifery is a recognized, registered, regulated and legal form of maternity care in Alberta, but unlike BC it isn't covered - which means those who choose this care pay for it themselves. I don't know what the typical going rate is, or if there is a sliding scale, but I have been quoted one figure of $3000.00. So, I suppose if I were paying for maternity care myself I would expect and appreciate that all appointments happened in the comfort of my own home. Thankfully, I live in BC (although more home visits would definitely be preferable although perhaps unrealistic for the midwives with full clinics and calendars).

Since this past week has been my thirty-sixth week of pregnancy and am planning to attempt a home birth, I had our home visit this past Tuesday. In a sense it was the most comfortable and relaxed appointment I've had, at the same time both Luke and I felt like we had to make sure our house was tidy and that both our floors and bathroom were clean. In some odd sense it was as if not only were we going to review different possibilities like where delivery would most likely occur so that the midwife could set up her equipment in a convenient location and of course to review what could arise that would mandate a transfer to the hospital, but also we sort of felt like this was also the moment to prove that we could provide a safe environment for our baby and that our ability to be good parents would be approved. It's a funny perception and one totally based on the opinion of someone else, but it also shows how much we look for approval from society even before the baby is even here. Our suspicions were unfounded though as we really only spent time in our front room and our midwife didn't even use the bathroom.

Probably the most interesting thing that occurred during our visit was our miniature daschund dog's reaction. Our dog, Oscar, can be quite the ornery old man when meeting new people. With Luke and I he's very sweet: likes to cuddle, do pack howls and groom us by liking our legs; yet, when it comes to newcomers he's usually very apprehensive, barks and or growls, and is typically very suspicious. However, he was unusually very quiet and only briefly sniffed around our midwife's ankles before going to sit with Luke. While the three of us were discussing different possibilities for labour I asked what experience she had had at other home births were pets had been present. Her response was that most people ended up putting their pets in a separate room so as to not bother the labouring mother and that dogs in particular could be unpredictable in how they react to mom going through such intensity. This pretty much confirmed it for me as I had told Luke that I did not want Oscar present because I was positive that he would either start to bark or howl along with my groaning, or even worse when either squatting or kneeling through contractions have him come bounding up and tossing me his ball and excitedly thinking that I'm in the perfect position to play fetch (just like he used to do at the beginning of my pregnancy when I'd be knelt over the toilet puking and crying). I'm not sure Oscar will survive me if he's present during my labour. Well, just after asking this question my midwife measured the size of my growing belly (a healthy thirty-five centimetres) and then listened to the heartbeat; with that Oscar began to have a fit! We all burst into laughter - confirmation that Oscar shouldn't be present during my labour and he'd be better off hanging out with my dad down the street.

About half way through the week I noticed that its been getting harder for me to fall asleep. I'm not sure if this is pregnancy related or not because it isn't that my growing belly has become uncomfortable (although I have really begun to feel the weight of it on my back as I walk) or that always sleeping on my side puts a lot of pressure on my hips, its actually all in my feet. It may sound strange, but it's as if my feet have a mind of their own. As soon as I lay down my feet start to tingle. They aren't exactly in pain although they seem to appreciate a good massage. No, it's more like they're wide awake and just want to run. It really is distracting. One night I was up until after 5am, the last couple nights it was 1am, and of course I kept having to get up every hour to go pee. Thankfully, probably due to sheer exhaustion, I finally fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow and I think I only had to get up twice to go pee the entire night! It was amazing. I suppose on a positive note if it is pregnancy related at least I didn't have a crying baby to contend with as well; that will come soon enough - anywhere from now until approximately (but hopefully not this long)  five weeks from now! I really can't believe these last couple weeks are going so quickly!

Probably the highlight of this week was having my belly photo-shoot done. I don't have much to say about this, rather I have pictures to share. But, I would like to say thank you to my friend Krista for coming out, taking all these great pictures and spending the evening with us. It was a treat.











Friday 22 March 2013

It's the Little Experiences that Matter

I'm now almost thirty-six weeks and I can't say that lots has happened. Or perhaps it seems as if nothing major has happened, so therefore I haven't felt that I've had anything significant to post. Yet, if I look at the little things as a whole there are certain particulars that are interesting, or at least good to consider.

For instance, I have noticed that the few things that I have commented about, when said to veteran moms, hasn't been met with a whole lot of empathy (or i it tends to be masked behind the comment "just you wait"). I realize these veterans are just warning me and trying to be supportive, but sometimes it's just nice to hear some empathy. For instance, for the past month or so I have not been able to get a full nights sleep at all simply because I'm up either every hour or if I'm lucky two to three hours, in order to go pee. I realize that once the baby comes I'll be up this amount anyways, and then I'll be dealing with the cries of an infant. So it isn't that I'm naive, or that I don't appreciate the silence that I currently have. However, that doesn't mean I'm not tired! The expert advice is stock up on sleep now and enjoy these last few weeks where it's just you and your partner. But there is no possible way for me to stock up on sleep and the only part I can enjoy is being able to sleep in and take naps throughout the day.  So, it really is nice to be able to voice this and just simply be heard. Even an empathetic, "Ah yes, preparation for when you have to get up every two hours to feed or change a diaper" is preferable; at least in this comment there is an element of empathy while recognizing  what is to come.

That said, as a woman going through my first pregnancy, every experience is a new experience for me. So when I say that I feel as if my belly is as stretched as it ever could be I don't need expert eyes rolling around, nor do I need to hear, "Just you wait". Again, I am not naive, I fully understand that my belly will continue to stretch and grow as long as this baby continues to thrive within me. HOWEVER, no matter at what stage of the pregnancy I am in, whether it was thirteen weeks to when I am quite possibly forty-two weeks, at that point in time my belly IS as big as it ever has been! And right now at thirty-five weeks I most definitely feel like I've eaten an entire turkey - that's still alive and moving! And yes my belly may not weigh as much as a turkey, but let me assure you that it at least looks like the size of a turkey.

To be quite frank I quite enjoy my belly and am rather proud of it. As it continues to grow and protrude to the point that I am now wearing Luke's sweatshirts as not even the stretchiest of mine will do up over it, I admit that I never cease to be impressed by the beauty of its roundness, nor do I tire of admiring it in the mirror. I really have no opinion of whether it is a large belly or a small belly, I just know that it is growing and that in the past two weeks it feels as if my baby girl is moving and stretching around a lot more which I know to be an indication of a very healthy baby. However, in talking about the size of my belly, it really is a funny thing how many different opinions the general public has to say about it. Last week I was at the health-food store where the ladies have seen me progress from my early pregnancy symptom of morning-sickness to now. They smiled and one said,
"Any time now. How many days?" To which I replied,
"I'm not sure how many days, but it's five weeks until my due date." At which point her eyes got instantly wider as she stared at my belly. I laughed. She finally got her words together and with both fascination and genuine sympathy she exclaimed,
"You're going to be so big by the end. I really do feel sorry for you." Now I could've been insulted by such a remark, but instead I smiled and simply stated,
"It's genetics." To begin with I have a short torso, so there really isn't anywhere for my baby to go but outward; plus I'm only 5'3" whereas my husband is 6'4". In addition I have seen pictures of my own mother at the end of her pregnancies, I have seen my cousins, and I have seen my sister. I have fully been prepared and expected that I too would have a big belly - it was pretty much a guarantee. So, I really did find the lady's exclamation that I have a big baby belly to be quite humorous. But then a couple days later I was at the Harrison pool with my sister and some paediatric nurses were there trying to guess how old my four month niece was and how far along I was. As it turns out in their opinion I had quite a nice small belly, which was nice to hear as well. Regardless of the opinions that are out there, I firmly believe that if you are eating well, consuming enough to feed both you and your baby, and being active in some way (whether that be as much as going to the gym to workout, doing modified workouts in your own home, going for hikes, or simply going for walks or leisurely swims) and just as long as you are taking care of your health to the best of your ability, then you should take pride in that gorgeously unique belly of yours.

Two other things that I have noticed in the past two weeks is first my stomach has become sensitive to acidic raw foods (such as tomatoes); second while my aversion to certain smells subsided at the end of my first trimester, I have recently gained a new aversion to the smell of fried food, especially fried bacon. In regards to the acidic food its happened twice now that I've eaten cherry tomatoes as a snack only for them to induce vomiting not too long afterwards. As for the smell of bacon, it's gotten to the point where I insist that Luke turns the fan on high when he's frying it up in the morning, open the kitchen window, close the bedroom door, and possible even open the front door. One day it seemed as if the smell lingered for so long that it bombarded me during the night, kept me from falling asleep, and actually made me feel ill to the point that I finally got up and put a few drops of lavender oil on a cotton ball so I could hold it up to my nose in an attempt to mask the smell. Yesterday I had both sensitivities combine for a rather unpleasant experience. For breakfast I had juiced a banana, an orange, a grapefruit, and a couple carrots; although it tasted alright it wasn't long before the acidity of the orange and grapefruit sent me running to the bathroom. Then, although I ate another hearty meal including ground flax and an egg, I still wasn't feeling good and it didn't help that Luke was frying up some bacon. I just couldn't handle it, so I went curled up in bed. Luke came by not too long after wondering where I had gone and curled up next to me and asked if I was ok and could he do anything? I replied nicely that no there wasn't anything to do and all I had to say next was,
"You smell like bacon." Thankfully he laughed, wasn't offended and graciously left me to nap.

I suppose the other most major thing that has occurred is a change in my state of mind. It could be called nesting, except that I'm not on a major cleaning obsession. However, at thirty-four weeks I suddenly realized that I only had six weeks left until due date. This alone didn't quite freak me out, but it was then that I realized that meant there were only five weeks remaining of the semester and five weeks until I completed the final class of my long awaited degree. Five weeks sounded like a lot, except that I still had a final midterm essay, a proposal, a group project and a final paper all due within this time; now it's only three weeks left of class and still I'm working on all four assignments! Thankfully two are due on Monday, so that will be a relief, and I've gotten the ball rolling with both the group project and the final paper. At the same time, while completing this class and hence my degree should be my priority, this is not where my concentration is. On the contrary, I'm finding it very difficult to be motivated or to consider it pressing at all; instead it's as if all I can really think about is making sure I have all my baby and nursing gear and essentials in order - after all what if my baby girl comes early and I'm not ready? That's what happened with my sister-in-law. Her delivery was a planned home-birth; but ended up being an adventure in an unattended home-birth. Thankfully everything went well and apparently my brother was the best birthing partner ever - until my niece was actually born and he didn't know what to do from there and panicked a little. For full details on this amazing story visit my sister-in-laws blog listed below and read the post called "Adventures in Birthing at Home." Let's just say that after this Luke made sure that I had a brand new pack of shoelace in our birthing kit as we too are planning a home-birth. I'm as ready as I can be now. Everything is in order and I have my supplies. Now I just have to keep refocusing my concentration on finishing this class!
http://littleschartnerfamily.blogspot.ca

Finally, I just want to mention one of the fun things that have occurred these past few weeks and that I highly recommend first time parents, but also parents going through repeat pregnancies as well, and that is to spend quality time with your family as it is right now before the new addition arrives. Luke and I have spent a lot of time going on adventures, watching TV and movies, going out for dinner (thank you to my sister-in-law Kylie for the Swiss Chalet gift card), cuddling, sleeping in and essentially just being together and enjoying the quality time spent as just the two of us. Luke even surprised me by gathering up the supplies and painting my toenails one night. Getting ready for our baby girl and doing it together has definitely been one of the highlights and half the fun of this pregnancy. Plus, it's been incredibly bonding for Luke and I to relax together and have him both feel and chuckle at how active our baby girl can really get - especially while I'm getting ready for bed. To hear Luke either laugh and say,
"That's my girl. That's the Luke in her, " or "I can't wait to meet her," while we're all cuddled up almost has no other comparison and really solidifies the fact that we are in fact a family.