And what a time week thirty-nine was.
To begin with on Sunday evening I submitted the very last final graded paper of my degree! What a fantastic feeling and lifted weight that was. I'm so pleased to have completed the course before my baby girl arrives. Now I can relax and really concentrate on getting ready for her arrival. Of course, this isn't to say that I'm lightly passing over the fact that not only have I finished this course, but even more satisfying is the feeling of completing my degree!!! Wow, this fact still amazes me. It was a goal that I had set for myself and while it took far longer than I ever thought it would, I persevered and I really am so happy to have accomplished this goal.
In a sense becoming pregnant helped me to focus in on completing my degree; it was the final driving force that pushed me to finish once and for all. On the other hand during the process of achieving my degree I had so much opportunity to educate myself about the practice of midwifery. In turn this has given me full insight as to the benefits and empowerment that having this type of care that focuses on informed choice has to offer. In addition, now that I'm so near to labour I feel that I have the confidence to persevere, that my body is actually designed and made to go through the process. So rather than labour and birth being shrouded in the unknown and thus fear I have the knowledge and education to believe in my body, to believe in the process, and to believe in myself.
While the rest of the week was mostly uneventful on Friday morning, the day before the due date, I experienced what I thought was my water breaking. Earlier that week at our midwifery appointment our midwife talked about what could happen, what to expect and when, or when not, to contact them should I go into labour. Our midwife told Luke and I that in the odd chance that my water broke and I wasn't in active labour, in other words if contractions hadn't started,were inconsistent, and hadn't gotten to the point where I was having contractions that were lasting one minute, were four minutes apart from the beginning of one to the beginning of another, and had been this consistent for an hour, then I was to relax and if possible get some rest because it could possibly take up to twenty-four hours for labour to really kick in. In addition, if it occurred during the night again try to go back to sleep and only call the midwife-on-call if I had reached the one-one-four consistency of contractions. Although I was aware of this before it was interesting to note that when a woman's water breaks it really doesn't mean that it's going to be like the movies where the water breaks and instantly that means the baby is pretty much on its way to being born. Instead, especially as it being my first time, it was more likely to take quite a few hours possibly even the full twenty-four hour period. Also, we were warned that if my water broke rather than it all come gushing out at once, it could be a slow leak where it feels like I've peed myself without the urge to pee and that I'd then want to wear pads because the leaking would most likely continue and would soak my pads. What I didn't expect was that this could possibly happen to me.
That brings us back to Friday morning.
*Note - for those of you who are squeamish or know me too personally to be comfortable with this amount and kind of information I suggest you either stop reading or get someone to brief you on the story later as even I never thought I'd be so open as to the full details of my body.
It was approximately 9:30 am, I had just finished completely draining my bladder when I crawled back into bed and settled in with a book and I felt this gush and sensation of peeing myself, but it also felt minor to the point I was unsure and thought perhaps it was just part of the extra secretions that pregnancy brings with it. About half an hour later I got up and was talking to Luke in the kitchen when I felt another gush, but this time it was large enough to soak my underwear and trickle down my leg. My eyes got huge as I looked up and proclaimed,
"My water broke." With that I rushed to the bathroom to grab some pads, sat on the toilet and even more fluid gushed out. Just so there's no confusion I would like to point out that Luke followed my into the bathroom and heard the gush for himself - so there was definitely a good amount of fluid, not some little tiny bit I was just overreacting to.
From the description that we had gotten from the midwife, the fact that I knew that the water breaking in this manner was quite normal, and that labour could still take another twenty-four hours to actually begin, I was convinced that my water really had broken. Yet, I wasn't concerned that I wasn't having contractions and figured it would be best to go about my day as planned. In this case it meant spending the day with my dad going grocery shopping and preparing freezer meals for when our baby girl made her appearance. So, perfect timing and opportunity I thought. Plus, Luke had caught a cold the night before and I thought it best to let him rest as much as he could, for me to get out of the sick environment and hang out with my dad who was healthy. As I got ready for my day I called my parents and siblings to let them know that the time had come. We were all so excited that sometime within the day or next we'd be meeting our new addition to the family. The one person I didn't call was the on-call midwife. I did call the office, but it was closed and with the information we received at our last appointment I figured it wasn't necessary to call the on-call midwife right away until things really started to progress. With that my dad picked me up around 11:00am and off shopping we went.
It was around 2:00pm that I finally decided to call the midwife to let her know my water had broken. As it turned out she was glad I had called because from the description I had given her combined with the fact that I hadn't soaked through a pad yet nor had any major contractions started, even though I was experiencing more back pressure, she said it sounded like my waters hadn't actually broken. Instead she suspected that I had only experienced an increase in liquid body fluid. I was stunned and a bit skeptical. There had been so much fluid, it wasn't as if I was over exaggerating on the amount, could I really have mistaken something as major as my water breaking?
At 4:00pm Luke and I walked up to the hospital and met the midwife in the maternity ward. The reason for going to the hospital is that they have sterile swabs and speculums for doing an internal examination that was sure not to introduce any bacteria on the chance that my water had indeed broken. In addition, the midwife would be able to put a sample of the fluid on a slide and look at it under a microscope for the cell formation that is particular to amniotic fluid and be able to positively confirm what the status was. As it turns, the midwife's suspicion was correct: my water had not broken. What we found out instead was that I had an undetected yeast infection that was creating and excreting this extra fluid. I was both confused and disappointed. Once again I had no questions, nor could I really form my thoughts, so I was relieved when Luke stated,
"I think we're both confused at how there could be so much fluid?"
The midwife affirmed that this was really quite possible, and I suppose that since they actually have a test in order to confirm if the water had actually broken it must be a common enough mistake to make. She described it like opening up cottage cheese or yogurt and the next time you go open it up it has a layer of liquid pooled on top. It sounded strange but at least it was an answer.
Walking out of the hospital I felt numb. It was a cool evening but I didn't care to even attempt putting on my jacket. It was only with Luke's insistence and help that I managed to get it on. As he was holding the jacket open for me to get my arms in I finally choked out that it may be silly because we know she was healthy and doing alright, but I was really looking forward to holding her and I was really disappointed; with that I broke down and cried while Luke wrapped his arms around me. It was such an emotional high to a big let down; it was simply too emotionally disappointing for me. This disappointment was only enhanced by embarrassment and the fact that I then had to inform everyone I'd told (family and a couple good friends) that it was a false alarm. I didn't even feel like talking, I was still on the verge of tears and emotionally drained. Thankfully on the way home Luke and I stopped off at my parents' and my dad had a meal all ready for us to take home. Although it was intended to feed us during labour, when my dad knew neither of us would have the foresight nor concentration to think of such things as feeding ourselves, it was most definitely appreciated to have a hot delicious meal ready to take home at a time when all we wanted to do was go home and rest.
As I puttered around my house that evening, in order to lift my spirit and not dwell in the gloom, I thought of reasons that made this event positive. First, Luke had a cold so this would give him time to rest and get better. Second, I was thankful that I found out that I had a yeast infection so I could treat it and have it all cleared up before my baby girl passes through; it would be horrible to give birth and have her contract her own yeast infection that could potentially present itself as diaper rash in addition to having thrush in the mouth, which she would then pass on to my breasts - it would just be a vicious cycle that would end up as, my brother-in-law so eloquently put it,
"Then it's purple baby juice everywhere!"
The third reason this was positive was that if my water had actually broken I'd have been on a twenty-four hour timeline for labour to start and if it didn't then I'd have to be medically induced which would take away the home-birth option. With these circumstances in mind I was definitely more inclined to wait another week, no matter how excited I was to hold her.
The due date has now come and gone. Luke's cold has cleared up and he has taken to poking my belly and informing our baby girl that she can come out now, that daddy's excited to meet her and gently tries to coax her by letting her know that she's missing out on the entertainment of the outside world and that we'll make it just as comfortable out here for her as it is in the womb. Although I'm still eager for her arrival for once I'm waiting patiently; Luke may be better but I'm not sure my infection has completely cleared up. However, once this medication is finished and I try a night with a clove of garlic up there then I'll be ready to start the home remedies/natural methods of getting labour to kick in. As for the clove of garlic, our midwife says to string it with some thread so you can retrieve it later. Apparently you'll immediately taste garlic, but the many women that she has recommended this to have affirmed its immediate effectiveness.
It still boggles me that I could actually have been mistaken about my water breaking. However, I have since found out that this happened to a friend of mine, except it occurred earlier in the pregnancy so it was a major relief to find out that she wasn't leaking amniotic fluid. In addition, I figure that this must happen often enough in order for there to actually be tests to confirm whether or not a woman's water has broken. This leads me to conclude that I'm not actually crazy. It may be rare, and people may just shake their heads and chuckle thinking that I'm just a first-timer getting confused and excited over nothing, but clearly I am not alone! So, for all you first timers out there be forewarned that this does occur. Therefore if it should happen to you be comforted knowing that this is more common than thought and I for one completely empathize with how confusing it can be.
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| My belly at 40 weeks is so large that the band on my maternity jeans no longer stays up and my maternity shirt is too short to cover it! |
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| A gift from my Dad when I told him my water had broken |
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